Wrong Birthday
"🎂 Happy birthday, Gerald!" Their name is not Gerald.
Open in Safari on your iPhone. Download the file, open it from Safari Downloads or Files, then follow the prompts to add it in Shortcuts.
What happens
Every time they open one of their go-to apps, a notification drops in: “🎂 Happy birthday, Gerald!” It’s relentless, cheerful and wrong.
Setup
- Open this page in Safari on the iPhone, download the file (or AirDrop it), open it from Safari Downloads or Files, and tap Add Shortcut.
- While importing, it asks for a name that is definitely not theirs (Gerald is the default). Fill it in before tapping Add Shortcut.
- Long-press it in Shortcuts → All Shortcuts → Rename and call it App Greeter, so it doesn’t give itself away.
- Run it while unlocked and choose Always Allow where offered; allow any other requested access. Confirm its effect before creating the automation.
- Shortcuts → Automation → + → App, pick 2–3 apps they live in and choose Is Opened, select Run Immediately, tap Next and choose the shortcut.
Undo
Open Shortcuts → Automation, swipe left on the automation and tap Delete. Then delete the shortcut.
Variations
- Do it on their actual birthday for maximum confusion.
Test the trigger
Installing the file does not create its automation. After the manual test, trigger the event once and check the result. If the shortcut picker is unavailable, create a blank automation, add Run Shortcut, and select this shortcut. Menus, previews and app-opening actions may still need interaction or an unlocked phone even with Run Immediately selected. If it stops, run from the shortcut’s … editor to identify the failing action.