Self-Snitch

What happens

On the third Instagram open of the day, their phone texts you, the prankster, something like “I admit you are the funniest person I know.” One recipient (you), text only, no personal data, at most once a day.

Setup

1. Open this page in Safari on the iPhone, download the file (or AirDrop it), open it from Safari Downloads or Files, and tap Add Shortcut.
2. While importing, it asks for the recipient. Enter your own number, never anyone else’s. Fill it in before tapping Add Shortcut.
3. Long-press it in Shortcuts → All Shortcuts → Rename and call it Insta Sync, so it doesn’t give itself away.
4. Run it three times while unlocked to reach Send Message, choosing Always Allow where offered. The first two runs only update the counter; the third sends a real text to your number. Check the Messages conversation after a sending error before retrying. Manual tests count toward the day’s three opens. To rearm after testing, remove only self-snitch.txt from Files → iCloud Drive → Shortcuts → shortcut-to-hell; this permits another text that day.
5. Shortcuts → Automation → + → App, pick Instagram, Is Opened, select Run Immediately, tap Next and choose the shortcut.

Undo

Open Shortcuts → Automation, swipe left on the automation and tap Delete. Then delete the shortcut.

State and testing

The saved state lives in Files → iCloud Drive → Shortcuts → shortcut-to-hell: self-snitch.txt. Keep iCloud Drive available. Manual runs affect the same counters as automation runs. Deleting this shortcut does not delete its saved state.

Test the trigger

Installing the file does not create its automation. After the manual test, trigger the event once and check the result. If the shortcut picker is unavailable, create a blank automation, add Run Shortcut, and select this shortcut. Menus, previews and app-opening actions may still need interaction or an unlocked phone even with Run Immediately selected. If it stops, run from the shortcut’s … editor to identify the failing action.